Cold is the new warm
Greedy is the new kind
I think I see but
Everyone else is blind
Blind to my thoughts
Blind to what I believe
Come thaw your heart by the fire
Or you can pack your bags and leave
- zs
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I wrote this poem a while ago and it fits in really well with my theme of seasons because it talks about cold people that I call the people of winter. I actually can't remember at all what my inspiration was for writing this poem even though it was not that long ago. It actually really bothers me because I did put a lot of feeling into this poem.
Poetic Devices
repetition - blind to
rhyme scheme - abcb defe
Zoe, I honestly think that this is an incredibly poignant and well-thought out poem. My favourite thing is that your title is a set up to the poem rather than a dull repetition of the first or last line. Furthermore, I really enjoyed the boldness of the last two lines. The metaphor of “thawing your heart” is really beautiful imagery! There are so many poems out there complaining about how no one “gets” the narrator or wining about how terrible people are, but instead, you made the choice to make a brash statement. Instead on merely complaining, your narrator chooses to be proactive and gives someone the choice of improving his/herself or leaving him/her alone. Really fantastic job on this one!
ReplyDeleteZoe, if you wrote that yourself, then i'm impressed. it's to the point, has an effective rhyme scheme, and transmits its idea clearly. excellent work
ReplyDeleteI love how your poem is very concise and gets your point across. Your choice to keep it short really makes it more meaningful and honest, also I love the ending when you gave two options. It made me think about who you were asking and why. Great work!
ReplyDeleteZoe this is a beautiful poem. I really enjoyed the angle of which you slipped in the message of season- almost subconciously. This poem is stripped away of unnessicary words or "filler" words without meaning,and this made the poem very honest.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is really meaningful. Although it is short, but it definitely brings your message across and really makes you take a step back and ask yourself,"am i that person?" Good job!
ReplyDeleteNice choice in poem Zoe. I think that you have a career in poetry! It's clear and concise and gets your point across to the reader. Congrats and keep it up.
ReplyDeleteZoe, this is a great poem! It's very evocative and the way you have juxtaposed different concepts together is amazing! I've reread this poem several times by now mostly because it's very thought provoking and although may appear to be simple because of the style is quite hefty in thought. One of my favourite lines of your poem is (I think I see but/Everyone else is blind. It's very emotional and outlines the loneliness of the narrator. Once again, I'm very impressed! Kudos!
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem a lot Zoe! I liked how you used duality to show the opposition in your theme, and I also agree with Rachel that using the title as a theme for the poem was cool. I also liked how you set a kind of "me vs the world" theme in the poem. I think that this was a great poem to show the loneliness of the narrator, who considers themself to have powers and kindness above all others.
ReplyDeleteI read this and literally was like, WOW. So blown away.
ReplyDeleteI love short poems because every line, like yours, is so jam-packed with poetic devices and imagery. This has got to be one of the most unique ways anyone has every depicted a season, and the idea alone about it having a people. I especially liked your third line, "I think I see", followed by a daring statement of "everyone else is blind." That really captured the feeling of confusion and being lost. It's kind of beautifully angsty.
so I think brief ends here. Maybe I will just compliment you later in person.
it's also very brave of you to isolate yourself. I also read it over a few times. LOL to the last line of StarrySkies' comment.
ReplyDelete