heat
burning my face
my back
radiating
brown, gold
bright blue
feeling the sand
under my toes
waves crashing
heart
beat
jump
stop.
you're doing it wrong
hair across my face
warm wind embrace
red
deep red
stop calling my name
black
-zs
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I wrote this free verse poem thinking of when I watched the sunset on the beach in Maui. It is a great summer memory of mine. I included a lot of colors in my poem because that is a lot of what I remember and it gives a good picture across to the readers. The colors gold and brown would be the sand; the color bright blue would be the sea and the sky; the red and deep red would be the sunset and black, the night sky. This ties is with my theme of seasons because it is about the season of summer.
Poetic Devices
imagery - feeling the sand, brown, gold
A great poem Zoe! I love the raw feeling that I get, and you convey it by using such short and tight phrases which allow the reader to mentally expand the ideas and feelings. There's just a small thing you might want to change, the line, "your doing it wrong" seems a little strange. You might want to change it to, "you're doing it wrong". It's a great poem!
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